Monthly Archives: June 2011

Just Plain Funny

Totally copied from www.notquitewhatihadplanned.com.  But I don’t feel too bad since she copied it too!

Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn’t leaving till 5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns

Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping
through them, they can never get an erection.
Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely,
Logic

Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma’s a b*tch.
Sincerely,
The Titanic

Dear America,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada

Dear Yahoo,
I’ve never heard anyone say, “I don’t know, let’s Yahoo! it…” just
saying…
Sincerely,
Google

Dear 2011,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF
happened?!
Sincerely,
1985

Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea… Just kidding! They’re all dead.
Sincerely,
BP

Dear Saturn,
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Sincerely,
God

Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,
Please lknvfdmv.xvn.
Sincerely, Stevie Wonder

Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely, Black people

Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain…..no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely, Sarah Palin

Dear World of Warcraft,
Thank you for ensuring my son’s virginity.
Sincerely, Parents Everywhere

Dear Batman,
What was your power again?
Sincerely, Superman

Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely, Nail Salon Ladies

Dear Ugly People,
You’re welcome.
Sincerely,
Alcohol

Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars end there because some
Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?
Sincerely,
The Mayans

Dear White People,
Don’t you just hate immigrants?
Sincerely,
Native Americans

Dear iPhone,
Please stop spell checking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece
of shut.
Sincerely,
Every iPhone User

Dear Trash,
At least you get picked up…
Sincerely,
The Girls of Jersey Shore

Dear Man,
It’s cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
Sincerely,
Elephant

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Oxidized Headlights and Paxil

My 6-year-old son just stopped me as I was pulling out of the driveway to tell me I have “oxidized headlights”. 

My 8-year-old son sat me down the other day to ask me a “serious question”.  I sat down with him and he calmly asked me if I had taken Paxil while I was pregnant with Gabby.  If so, I need to contact xxxx law firm to see if I’m eligible for compensation.

I think my kids watch too much TV.

Grocery Challenge

Almost two weeks ago, I decided to challenge my family to see how long we could go without buying groceries*.  My husband thought we would make it three days.  I thought we would make it a week.  We are on day 12.  It’s been much easier than I thought it would be.  Part of our success came from having a pretty well stocked pantry and freezer.  We had lots of things that I had bought on sale at some point and never used.  So we had a good starting point.

I started this challenge to save money as well as to clean out our pantry and freezer.  What I didn’t anticipate was how much fun it would be.  It was like figuring out a puzzle.  It also forced me to make things from scratch in addition to trying new recipes.  I made homemade whole wheat biscuits, banana nut muffins, pizza crusts, cheese sticks, white pasta sauce, and numerous other things.

I realized it is not hard or all that time-consuming to start from scratch.  It also saves money in addition to giving us healthy, non-processed food.  I also learned to make substitutions for my usual recipes and just create new recipes based on what was available.

I don’t know how many more days we’ll go before we buy groceries.  We still have lots of vegetables, rice, and beans left to cook.  But we are running very low on meat.  This challenge is supposed to be fun so we will not be eating beans for days on end.  I figure we will buy a few meat items and see how long it takes to clean out the rest of our vegetables and other miscellaneous items.

I would definitely recommend this challenge if for no other reason than to clean out your kitchen without just throwing stuff away.  I bet you’ll be surprised at how long you can go.

*Just wanted to add that we did buy milk for the kids, eggs, and oil.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Me and my eight year old son were having some one-on-one time the other day.  We were chatting about various topics when he started talking about what he wanted to be when he grew up.

He wants to be a cop.  I asked him why and he said because he could go on car chases.  I told him that rarely happened except on cartoons and movies.  He corrected me and said that I was wrong, he had seen real video of it on Cops.  I told him, yes, that was real…but it still doesn’t happen very often.  He replied, “That’s OK.  I’m sure I will still be able to eat all the doughnuts I want.”  As long as he has goals and dreams.

Speaking of goals and dreams….during this same conversation he asked me what I wanted to be when I was a kid.  I told him that I had wanted to be an astronaut.  He replied, “That didn’t work out so well for ya, huh?”   Nope, I guess not.

So far behind that I’ve forgotten how far behind I am….or something like that.

I haven’t posted for a while.  A pretty long while.  It started when I hurt my thumb and had to wear a brace for month.  That made it pretty difficult to type.  Then when it was better, I was too overwhelmed by all the posts I wanted to write.  Now, it’s been so long that I’ve forgotten all the posts that I was overwhelmed about.  So it seems as good a time as any to try to get back on track.  It feels good to be back!